Through Your Eyes
by HopefulSorrow
Summary: "Each had vowed to protect the other no matter the cost. But this time it would not be enough. All that would be left was fire and pain and darkness and one terrible word: alone." ShunsuixNanao.
1. What They Don't See

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. That is just as true now as it will be at the end of this story. Therefore I will save space and reading time and quit repeating what is already obvious.**

Chapter 1: What They Don't See

Nanao burst through the door into Rangiku's room. The redhead looked up, surprised at the sudden intrusion. The concern was obvious on her face as Nanao began pacing the room.

"Are you alright?" All of the usual light and mirth dropped from her tone and was replaced with worry.

"He's dead," was all the dark haired woman replied.

Rangiku's worry was replaced with panic. "Nanao, what are you talking about? Who's dead?"

Nanao finally met her friend's gaze and stopped pacing for a moment. "My captain. He is dead." She enunciated each word carefully.

Rangiku gasped. "What? How is that…What happened…" Her thoughts swirled with a thousand questions and images of Shunsui Kyoraku dying in battle or, more likely, from sake poisoning. But something was not right. Nanao was not nearly upset enough. More than anything she just seemed angry. Pissed, more appropriately.

"My captain is dead," she repeated, and continued before Rangiku could say anything, "because I am going to murder him in cold blood."

Rangiku fell back on her bed. She could not honestly remember standing up. She wanted to laugh with relief, but the murderous expression on Nanao's face told her it may have been the last laugh she ever had. "What did he do this time?"

"He accepted a three day mission to the world of the living."

Rangiku raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound so—"

Nanao raised a hand. "I'm not finished. He accepted it for the both of us, without asking me first. And the mission just happens to be on the three busiest days of the year, right before all of the annual reports for the division are due. I need those three days if I have any hope of getting everything organized in time. I tried explaining this to him, and the insufferable man laughed. Laughed! As if it is of no concern. Which, to him, it isn't. Then he had the nerve to tell me that 'his little Nanao-chan' could surely finish and be ready for the mission in no time!" She let out a huff of air. If she had calmed down any on her walk to the tenth, her anger was back in full force now.

Rangiku winced in sympathy for her drinking partner. "Which book did you hit him with this time?" Nanao was still carrying her usual untitled volume in her arms, so it couldn't have been that one; she would have taken care of it first if it had gotten bloody.

"All of them."

Rangiku blinked. "What?"

Nanao made an impatient gesture. "You asked me what book I hit my captain with. The answer is all of them."

The picture that entered the redheaded lieutenant's mind had her choking back a laugh. "You threw each individual book at him?"

"No. I threw the entire bookshelf at him and warned him I would use his sake to burn down his favorite napping spot if it was not cleaned up by the time I got back."

Rangiku rolled onto her back and clutched her sides as she laughed. "I'm…sorry," she gasped between outbursts, "I just…imagined the look on Shunsui's face…when he saw…an entire bookcase coming at him." She dissolved back into laughter.

Nanao relaxed a little. "Yes, even I have to admit it was humorous. But, well…he deserved it. He could have at least shown the consideration to _pretend_ to ask me first."

Rangiku wiped the tears from her eyes. "Are you going to go?"

"Yes. Tomorrow morning." She gritted her teeth.

"Ew. That is short notice."

"Do you understand now why I am so upset? He has completely ruined my schedule. Again."

"Why didn't you just refuse the mission then?" Rangiku asked even though they both knew the answer.

Nanao sighed and the last of the angry tension left her body. "High level hollows have been spotted in a usually inactive sector in the world of the living. Captain Kyoraku did not want to leave it to an inexperienced team, so he volunteered himself. Since this mission potentially involves menos level hollows, it seemed imprudent that he go alone."

Rangiku nodded to cover her smile. "Well, Nanao-chan, have fun."

Nanao just glared and thought to herself, _This is going to be a long three days._

Jyuushiro Ukitake shook his head when his longtime friend showed up on his doorstep covered in cuts and bruises. "What did you do to upset Nanao this time?" he asked as they settled down over tea.

Shunsui sighed. He felt a little pang of remorse that his friend was so quick to understand what had happened, because he was the source of upset for Nanao more often than anything else. "I accepted that mission the old man was talking about in this morning's meeting."

Jyuushiro eyed his friend warily as Shunsui explained his lieutenant's reaction to the news. When he had finished, the white haired man again shook his head. "You never learn, do you?"

"But Jyuushiro," Shunsui whined, "I had only the best of intentions for my little Nanao-chan. This was supposed to be a chance for me to get her away from the office. It should be an easy mission; we probably won't actually run into any hollows. So it's three days of vacation, just the two of us!"

"But did you ask her first or take into account how much work she has to do this time of year? Honestly, Shunsui, no matter how good your intentions were, all Nanao will see is how inconsiderate you were being."

They were both silent for a long moment. Jyuushiro always believed Shunsui's silences were when he mentally switched himself into serious mode.

Sure enough, when he spoke again, Shunsui's voice was somber. "I really just want a chance to spend some time with Nanao away from the office. Maybe that would give her a chance to look at me as less of a captain and more of just…me."

Jyuushiro had been in the unique position that allowed him to observe the odd relationship between the captain and lieutenant of the eighth. He and Shunsui were lifelong friends, but Jyuushiro had also grown fond of Nanao almost immediately. He got to see that other side of her she kept hidden from most people.

Over the years he had seen in his two friends what they could not (or would not) see in themselves or each other. He saw the little smiles Nanao tried to hide when she was around her captain, the sorrow she felt when Shunsui tried to drink away his demons, the pain of seeing him with other women. (What Nanao did not know but Jyuushiro saw was that Shunsui would have given anything for a smile from Nanao, that his demons were always a little quieter whenever she was around, that he had not been with another woman since falling in love with Nanao nearly a century ago). He saw the way Shunsui's gaze softened whenever he looked at Nanao (and thought no one saw), the torment of believing she may never want him, the despair he felt whenever he hurt her by doing something careless and foolish. (What Shunsui did not see and Jyuushiro never told him was the way Nanao gazed back at Shunsui with the exact same softness, how she thought _she _was the unwanted one, how she always forgave him almost immediately no matter what he had done.

The fact that she was his lieutenant did make a difference to Nanao, but what really bothered her was feeling as though she was one in a long list of conquests. Jyuushiro loved Shunsui more deeply than most of his own family but thought he really could be such a stupid arse at times. For instance, letting his sexual pursuits be over-glorified and over-exaggerated, even if that had started centuries before Nanao was even born.

Both men snapped out of their individual reveries, and Shunsui was back to behaving like his usual self. "Well, Jyuushiro, I guess I am just going to have to go for it and hope for the best." He stood up and started ambling out the door.

"Go for what, exactly?"

Shunsui grinned, and only Jyuushiro and a select few others would ever have seen the undercurrent of emotion beneath that expression. "Why, telling my Nanao-chan I love her, of course!" And with that he disappeared.

Jyuushiro shook his head. Again. Such a common reaction to Shunsui's dramatics. But Jyuushiro had seen what was under that jovial mask. _My god,_ he thought, _Shunsui Kyoraku is actually nervous. _He chuckled and said a little prayer of luck for his friends. _This ought to be interesting…_

**AN: Reviews, please, to let me know whatcha think. My first story of this pair that is not a one-shot! Yays!**


	2. Wait and See

Chapter 2: Wait and See

The moon hung almost full and bright in the sky. Nanao was glad for the light it gave, not so much for the "romantic atmosphere" it created, as her captain had put it just moments before. She stood alone at the edge of a lake. _It is beautiful, _she thought almost reluctantly, referring to the reflection of the moon on the still water. _And it would be quite romantic, if someone were looking for that sort of thing._ The image of her captain grinning lazily popped into her mind. _Bastard._

She had suspected from the moment they left Soul Society that he was planning something like this. First, there was the hotel. It was a bed and breakfast type establishment, generally visited only by honeymooners. Given, it was the only hotel in this area (there was a reason hollows never came here; there were few people over a large area that was touristed only by those seeking out nature). But her captain had reserved the room. One suite for them to share.

Even this might have only mildly irritated Nanao, but, when they were checking in and the desk clerk asked for a name, Shunsui had answered, "Shunsui and Nanao Kyoraku." Nanao had flinched. Maybe, _maybe_ she would have let it go. After all, it was a good cover, and this _was_ a honeymoon spot. But he had not stopped there. He winked conspiratorially at the woman behind the desk. "Do not be worried if you don't see much of us. We are only here for three days and plan to make the most of every moment."

The woman giggled and handed him the key. "You are in the last room at the end of the hall, top of the stairs. You happen to be the only guests, and that room has the most beautiful view."

Shunsui had grabbed Nanao's hand, leading her up the stairs, while calling back, "As long as my Nanao-chan is in it, I don't doubt you for a minute." To which the woman had giggled some more. _She must be thinking he is something straight out of a bad romance novel,_ Nanao thought.

She waited until they were out of sight before jerking her hand away. Shunsui cried, "Ah, my cruel Nanao-chan, taking away the pleasure of your sweet touch so soon."

"Please, _sir,_" she put as much emphasis on the word as she could, "keep the theatrics to a minimum. No one needs or wants to hear specifics of what we will not actually be doing over the next three days."

"But I love pretending my Nanao-chan is my wife." His voice was still teasing, but Nanao could only pretend she did not notice the serious undertone it carried. She snatched the key from his hand and opened the door. The room did have a beautiful view of the lake. At the time, the sun had been setting, lighting up the sky and the water with fire.

Nanao could not help the little gasp that escaped her. "It's beautiful," she whispered reverently.

It was not the sunset and its mirrored twin that Shunsui was looking at when he murmured, "Yes," but Nanao herself, lit up in another way with amazement and by the glow coming in through the windows.

Nanao looked back and him and was similarly struck by the brush of orange over his tanned skin and the way the light glittered in his eyes, not hidden by his infamous hat, which did not fit with the human clothes they both wore now.

Her heart thudded in her chest. The atmosphere was perfect. He was leaning toward her very slowly, unconsciously, just as she was being pulled toward him. All they had to do was move together another few inches and—

"Don't be inappropriate, Captain." Nanao was amazed how stony and calm she sounded when inside she was a tangle of thoughts and emotions. She put distance between herself and her captain, setting the bag she had forgotten she was carrying on the bed. The only bed in the room. She looked around. There was a chair, a nightstand on each side of the bed, the doors to the bathroom, the closet, and a small balcony, as well as a vanity set.

"I assumed since we are both mature adults," Nanao cocked an eyebrow, so he corrected, "alright, both adults, you would consent to sharing a bed with me." In his own defense, Shunsui tried admirably to keep the tendrils of longing he felt from seeping into his voice. He could not tell from Nanao's expression whether or not he was entirely successful.

Nanao thought about it for a moment. "If you can promise to behave. At the slightest misstep, you sleep in the chair."

He grinned. "On my honor, my hands will not stray."

She rolled her eyes and started unpacking. They would go on their first scouting mission early in the morning, just after dawn. She expected her captain to complain, but he was surprisingly quiet. In fact, he had been unusually quiet this evening, deep in his own thoughts. If Nanao was not mistaken, he seemed nervous about something.

Finally, just as they were slipping under the sheets (with good distance and a carefully placed pillow between them), Nanao asked, "Is something bothering you?"

Shunsui looked surprised. He hesitated before saying, "Actually, there was something I wanted to discuss with you. I was going to wait, but since you brought it up…"

Now Nanao was the nervous one. His tone held none of his usual cheerfulness. He was not being grave, just serious. He was serious with her, or with Captain Ukitake, on occasion, but generally it signaled something momentous. "What is it?" she prodded gently when he hesitated again.

Suddenly he met her eyes, his own an intense grey. "I wanted to talk about us."

"Sir," she warned.

"Hear me out, please." He waited until she nodded for him to continue. "Do you realize that every time I declare my love for you that I am being completely serious? I never saw myself sharing my life with someone until I met you."

Practical side intervening, Nanao interrupted. "I was a child when we first met, so I find that unlikely."

Shunsui sighed. She was trying to get out of it. He pushed forward. "Actually, even when you were a child, I was willing to share more with you than anyone else, excepting Jyuushiro, of course. When you were older, particularly after you became my lieutenant, I began to imagine what it would be like to have you by my side, always. Then I could not imagine my life any other way."

Something had risen into Nanao's throat. Was she dreaming? She had always imagined him saying something like this to her, without a hint of teasing in his voice. But now that it was actually happening, she could barely believe what she was hearing.

He continued, "I kept you off of missions, which I know made you angry, and for that I am truly sorry. I wanted to keep you safe. But I also did not want you away from me. Even having you away from me for a single day was…" He searched for the right word, but shook his head helplessly when he could not find it.

Nanao understood. Even when they were apart, she always sought out his presence. If she could not find it, if he was away on a mission or too far away in Soul Society or the Rukon districts, something akin to panic set in. But it was so much more than panic. It was a longing, the feeling that something vital was missing, as if someone was slowly cutting off her air supply.

"I want something more from you than just friendship, Nanao, need more than a work relationship. I am a very patient man; we can take it as slowly as you want. We can let Jyuushiro supervise, if you want." He made a half-hearted attempt at a smile. Never would he have pictured himself nervous around a woman. At the moment, he was not nervous. He was terrified. Nanao's expression gave away nothing except the fact that she was thinking; emotions flitted over her face too quickly to be identified. So Shunsui sat and waited and proved his patience.

Nanao was at war with herself. On the one hand, she trusted this man with everything she had, everything she was. On the other, that fact made things harder. He had everything of her and could easily crush it. So easily it was almost laughable. Almost. And now she was expected to sleep beside him for four nights? Ha!

Calmly she said, "You will have to give me time to think about this."

He nodded. "Of course." She saw a flash of emotions flicker through his eyes: worry, hurt, hope. As he lay down on his side of the bed, she stood up. "Where are you going?"

She pointed to the balcony. "Air." He nodded in understanding. She went outside into the cool night air and shut the door behind her.

She stood on the balcony for a minute, leaning against the railing and breathing deeply, before feeling the need to pace. The balcony was made of metal and creaked slightly under her wait. _The captain will hear and wonder if I move around too much. Then he might come out to investigate and coming out here would be pointless. _She stood up on the balcony railing and jumped to the ground below. Then she made her way down a little footpath to the lake shore.

Now, she stood staring at the moon. Tomorrow it would be full. That would truly be a sight to behold as it rose over the lake. The walk to the lake shore had helped to clear her mind, and she was nearly ready to go back. When she turned around, Nanao was not at all surprised to see the silhouette of a figure, more familiar to her than her own, against the door to the balcony. As she looked, he turned and went back into the room, giving her privacy on her walk back, assured she was safe. He was always there for her. They were always there for each other. In that moment, she made her decision.

When she reentered the room, Shunsui was in the bed, snoring softly. She turned out the lights and crawled under the sheets. "Goodnight, Captain," she half-whispered.

From his side of the bed, Shunsui smiled. She knew him too well, and he loved that about her.

"Goodnight, my lovely Nanao-chan."

**AN: Methinks it goes well so far. Review if you agree, or if you disagree and would like to tell me why. But be nice; my feelings are fragile. :3**


	3. Watch Your Future Wave Goodbye

Chapter 3: Watch Your Future Wave Goodbye

It was difficult for Shunsui to behave normally with some horrible, nameless feeling gnawing away at his gut. He had woken at the ungodly hour he had set with Nanao for their first scouting of the area. He had woken to find Nanao already gone.

At first he was not worried. Nanao had much less trouble than he did with rising at these early hours; she did it with the uncomplaining dedication with which she did all of her work (and his). _She probably assumed I would be late getting up and went on without me._ He got ready quickly and went to meet her downstairs. She was nowhere to be seen.

"Excuse me?" he called to the man currently sitting behind the desk, "I seem to have misplaced my wife. I thought she might be getting breakfast?"

The man, a young fellow (well, young in Shunsui's opinion; in reality he was probably in his twenties) looking just as sleepy as the captain still felt, took his time to answer. "Oh, that was your wife? Looked a little young for you." Shunsui raised an eyebrow, and the boy/man blushed as he realized what he had said. "Um, she said to tell you when you came down that she was going on your hike early, and that you could join her at your leisure because she would be fine on her own for a while."

"Thank you for your help. Before I go, could you bring me two cups of tea?" The boy/man nodded, scampering off and returning a few minutes later with two paper cups full of green tea.

"That is my mother's special recipe," the boy/man smiled, "and the cups and sleeves are completely biodegradable. When you get finished, you can just throw it on the ground and it will be gone in a week."

Shunsui tipped the boy/man and set out to find Nanao. It was a beautiful day out. The sun was barely over the horizon, so there was still a chill in the air and dew on the grass. It was perfect weather for napping outside, Shunsui thought mournfully. Maybe he would be able to convince Nanao to sit with him by the lake for a while after they had scouted. He knew she secretly loved being outdoors, especially if a good book was involved.

Because the gigai they hid reiatsu, it took Shunsui longer to find Nanao than it normally would have. When he did find her, they automatically assumed their usually places, with Nanao beside and slightly behind her captain (which drove him just a little nuts). He handed her a cup of the tea, which she sipped gratefully.

"You could have waited for me, you know," he said casually while they walked through the woods along the territory's border.

He heard Nanao sigh. "I woke up early and needed some fresh air, so I decided I may as well begin scouting."

Shunsui's first thought was to tell Nanao he worried about her when she went out on her own, but he knew that would have been a mistake. Honestly, he understood that Nanao was more than capable of taking care of herself and would resent what she called "coddling," even if that was not his intentions. He knew all this rationally, but it did not stop him from worrying.

Instead he put on a cheery tone and said, "My sweet Nanao-chan, always so diligent and productive."

"I have to be around you, sir," she replied.

They walked on in comfortable silence for a while. Both finished their tea, and Shunsui threw his cup to the side. Nanao was about to scold him when pointed to a stamp on the bottom of the cup and said, "Biodegradable." She looked at the stamp skeptically before letting her own cup drop to the ground.

"Sir—" Nanao began after a while.

"If you would be willing, I would prefer you just call me Shunsui. At least while we are alone," he added, guessing what her argument would be.

They were coming toward the farthest edge of the lake at the very edge of the territory. Both Shunsui and Nanao were thankful it was such a small area. If anything was here, it would not be long before they ran into it. The trees thinned out, and they could see the lake at the bottom of the incline they were on.

"Actually," Nanao continued, "that is what I wanted to talk to you about. What you said last night, I mean."

Shunsui's stomach did a flip-flop, part nerves, part expectation. He wanted very badly to turn and look at Nanao's face but kept his eyes on their path. "Yes?"

"Yes. I came to a decision last night, but I wanted to be sure I had looked at everything clearly before saying anything." Shunsui smiled tenderly, but the only witnesses were the trees. He waited silently for her to continue. "I came to the decision that pursuing a relationship would be a mistake."

_Whap. _Shunsui could have sworn he had just run smack into a brick wall. The air whooshed out of his lungs, his heart skidded to a stop, then pounded violently, and he blinked rapidly as if by doing so he could somehow clear away what he had just heard. He spun around and looked at Nanao, who met his grey eyes with her intense indigo orbs.

Was it something he had said last night? He had only told her the absolute truth, so it should not have been anything offensive. _No,_ he thought, _I was wrong. I should not have brought this up so quickly. I rushed her, and now she is running._ He put a gentle smile on his face and rubbed a hand through his hair. "That was not the answer I was hoping for. Do you mind if I ask why?"

Nanao shifted her head so that he would only see the glare of the sun off her glasses and not the forming tears behind them. She had considered briefly telling him she simply did not feel that way about him, but she could not lie like that. He would see right through it. Instead, she was honest: "It would only end up hurting us both. Something would go wrong, and then we would be unable to work together. I do not want to have to leave the eighth, and I know you would not do well without a lieutenant." She smiled and grimaced at the same time; he would either drown in paperwork or sake without someone there to keep him straight.

"Nanao, what do you expect to 'go wrong in the relationship'?" He was angry that she would dismiss both of their feelings so easily. "You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Not intentionally, no," she whispered. Silently, she added, _But you're you and I am just, me. You would want better eventually. You deserve someone more like you: someone good and wonderful and strong, not someone so weak and vulnerable and plain. I can hardly bear being this close to you as it is; if, when, you break my heart, it will kill me._

She did not say any of this, but Shunsui could guess at most of it. He took a step toward her but stopped when she moved a step back. Now he was just hurt, hurt that she could not see how strongly he felt about _her,_ so strongly that he had not even been able to glance at another woman without picturing Nanao instead. Hurt that he may have lost his chance because his past and reputation were more than the woman he loved could bear.

He felt a little sick as he said, "Please, just let me try. I would give anything for you."

She knew that, and it scared her. "I'm sorry."

And he saw her shutting down, saw the wall he had so carefully tried to dismantle over the years rebuild itself in an instant, saw the mask of professionalism carve itself into stone. Maybe like this she would be able to continue as she had before, but Shunsui knew it would tear him apart. He silently cursed himself and his own stupidity for hoping it would be different.

Nanao walked past Shunsui (her captain, Captain Kyoraku, nothing more, never, never) and continued on the same path they had been following all along. She did not want to see the hollow look that had passed over his face or the desperation in his eyes as he searched for some way to fix what he thought he had broken (he couldn't ; it was her, all her). She especially did not want him to see the tears that slipped silently down her immobile face, proof that she would kill herself over rational thinking. _And I thought this way neither of us was supposed to get hurt?_

She heard her captain following far behind her. The silence between them was no longer comfortable. The companionship that had been between them since they had first met was gone, replaced by the heaviness of deep and desperate thought.

_What have I done?_

Each was working so hard to find the answer that neither noticed they were being followed.

**AN: I would like to comment that, while it may seem like Shunsui's declaration came out of nowhere, keep in mind that they have know each other for a century or more, so...yeah, more than enough time to think about it. That is my basis for moving them along so fast. Thanks for reviews! They help me improve my writing, give me ideas, and, most importantly, they just make me happy. :D**


	4. Never Saw It Coming

**For Arihimew: This is the longest fanfiction chapter I have _ever_ written. Woo! :)**

Chapter 4: Never Saw It Coming

The original plan was to finish up the scout, grab some lunch, and relax for the rest of the day before doing night surveillance.

The tension was still palpable between Shunsui and Nanao as they sat down in a booth at the town's only restaurant/bar. The food looked good and probably would have been delicious, but Nanao could not seem to taste it and pushed away her plate nearly untouched. Her captain gave her a concerned look but wisely said nothing.

They made it back to the inn, being careful when around people to act the part of a married couple. Nanao was not entirely sure she had pulled it off. Shunsui stretched out on the bed, watching Nanao as she went onto the balcony. When the door was safely closed behind her, she leaned her head on the railing and let out a frustrated huff of air.

Her emotions were a churning mess within her. The most prominent at the moment was anger.

_How dare he do this? Things were fine between us the way they were._

_No they weren't,_ her inner voice said sadly. _You always wanted more, but when he finally shows you that he wants you too, you push him away. It isn't him you are mad at right now._

_No, I'm mad because my rational thinking has abandoned me. I never second-guess myself. Never, until now. I looked at it from every possible angle. Rationally, being with him romantically makes no sense._

_Silly girl, _the voice whispered before falling silent and leaving her with her emotions,_ love is under no obligation to make sense._

* * *

><p>Nanao had been right: the full moon over the lake was breathtaking. Tonight it was an orangy color, so bright that it lit up the world and drowned out most of the stars. It was a perfect night for surveillance. It was also perfect for romance. Nanao's heart broke at the thought.<p>

She and her captain had decided to split up and make the surveillance go faster. Nanao suspected Shunsui had only agreed because their sweep that morning had revealed nothing unusual. They left their gigai behind in the room so they could sense each other's reiatsu and would easily be able to signal if something went wrong.

If he were being honest with himself, the thought of Nanao on her own with even the potential of a threat nearby made him uneasy. Still, he had to remind himself, they could not have asked for a better night. It was clear and bright with just enough breeze to ruffle their hair. Shunsui breathed in the fresh, cool air and felt an instant calm come over him. The only other thing that ever made him so relaxed was…

He glanced at Nanao and his body flushed with heat at what he saw. Her pale skin glowed in the light from the moon, her eyes glittered with wonder, and there was a small, content smile on her lips (but Shunsui tried not to focus his attention there lest she catch and end him permanently). Her hair ruffled slightly, and he wished he could reach over and pull it from its clip. Nanao always looked her most spectacular at night; Shunsui thought it may have something to do with her zanpakuto spirit, but he had never asked and was not sure she would tell him if he did. At moments like this he imagined Nanao herself was the very embodiment of night: mysterious, frightening to anyone who did not understand her, beautiful for those who tried.

He wanted to reach out and touch her to assure himself she was real.

"Be careful," he told her before they separated. "If you find anything remotely suspicious, signal me." Besides looking her most extraordinary at night, Nanao seemed to have heightened powers. He would have to remember to ask her about it sometime. Maybe if he could get her to open back up to him…

"The same goes for you, sir." She disappeared seamlessly into the darkness.

Shunsui went in the opposite direction and muttered with good humor to no one in particular, "That woman is going to drive me to drink."

Their night surveillance went much the same as the morning scout had: without incident, and with both the captain and the lieutenant thinking of the other and their situation.

Nanao could not even enjoy her surroundings. She took off her glasses, stowing them carefully in her sleeve near her concealed zanpakuto. Few people knew that she did not wear glasses because she needed to see. She had started wearing them when she was very young, when she had started her training, in order to control her kido. The glasses were a restraint, of sorts. Here, with no people around, she could remove them without fear of hurting anyone, though she had lost control to that extent only once in her entire life.

She made it to the point where her arc of the territory to be covered that night met her captain's and turned around. She paused only briefly to survey the woods before continuing back.

Suddenly she felt…something. It was that odd uneasiness a person feels when they know something is wrong but can't place exactly what that something is. She felt watched. A shiver crawled up her arms. She stood still, listening carefully for any unusual activity in the area. When some time had passed without revealing anything, she continued forward. She shook the feeling off as paranoia brought on by stress and sleep deprivation.

_I almost wish we would find something,_ she thought, but immediately scolded herself. Hoping to run into hollows was something someone from the eleventh would do. She imagined herself as a bloodthirsty thug and laughed aloud at the thought. People already gave her a wide bearth because of the rumors about her "deadly eyes". Were she also a bloodthirsty mongrel, no one would know _what_ to do with her. _That may make an amusing experiment one day..._

As planned, she and her captain met at the lake shore by where Nanao had stood the night before. Shunsui arrived a good while after her. She raised an eyebrow. "Ah, my efficient Nanao-can, don't fault me for taking my time to enjoy the lovely scenery." She thought by his tone that he was not referring to the lake.

He started back up the path to the inn and turned to look when she did not immediately follow. "I'm going to stay for just a moment longer," she told him.

"Do you want company?" he asked hopefully.

For a moment, Nanao actually considered it, but answered, "I'll be fine on my own." The disappointment was clear on his face, so she added, "I appreciate the offer." Even she was disgusted by how businesslike she sounded.

Her captain made no indication of noticing. "I'll be right up here if you change your mind." Nanao was still feeling slightly guilty when Shunsui turned around again and called merrily, "I would always be up for skinny dipping with my lovely Nanao-chan!" He easily dodged the rock she chucked at his head.

When he was out of sight, she took off her sandals and socks and stuck her feet in the water. It was cool and instantly relaxed her. Swimming _did_ sound inviting. It might give her a chance to clear her mind. She was still contemplating whether it was worth risking when she felt that same feeling from earlier that something was wrong. She lifted her head to the right and saw a little girl walking toward her. Nanao stood still to wait for the girl to pass. Humans could not see shinigami, but they could see a ripple in water with an unknown cause and panic. The little girl was only a few feet away when she smiled at Nanao.

At first, Nanao was just taken aback. _She can see me._ Was this a Plus, or maybe a sighted human? Then why had she not felt the girl coming? She was young, only eight or nine, wearing pigtails and a party dress. But something about her set Nanao on edge. Something unnamable. The little girl took a step closer, and that was when Nanao saw the chains. Her insides iced over. This was a demi-hollow, bound to the lake. That was why she had not sensed it. Now that she focused, she could just barely make out its presence, something malicious while not entirely evil.

"Hello," she said quietly, hoping the girl was not too far gone to be saved. The chain protruding from her chest was already deeply decayed, so Nanao was afraid it was too late.

The little girl's smile became a macabre grin. "You should pay closer attention when you walk in our woods. Poor little shinigami," she said, her voice sounding more like a hollow's than a human's, "you should have gone home when you had the chance." She sprang.

Nanao just had time to let off a blast of kido. The girl let out an inhuman shriek and rolled on the ground clutching her face. Nanao pulled out her zanpakuto, still hoping to purify the girl, when something hit her from behind. She fell to the ground with an _oomph_, landing half in the lake. She tried to catch the breath that had been knocked from her lungs, and looking down she saw the water turn red with blood.

The hollow that had attacked her shrieked. Behind it she saw another hollow moving toward the demi hollow girl, who stood starting, transfixed, expectant. The other hollow reached forward and ripped out the girl's soul chain.

Nanao sprang to her feet and attacked the hollow closest to her, taking it off guard. It had been watching as the girl transformed into a birdlike hollow amid screams and shrieks. Nanao split the first hollow's mask and turned her attention to the other two.

"Dance in the shadows, Kagemusha." The blade, normally a tanto size, grew to the length of a katana. The blade was an inky indigo, darker than her eyes. When she first learned her sword's name, she was at once delighted and dismayed by how beautiful her sword was. She thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it only made her feel plainer. Of course, there were those who would argue Rukia Kuchiki's was the most beautiful of all the zanpakuto, and Nanao could understand that. After all, very few people had even _seen_ her zanpakuto in its released form. Besides, when given a choice most people would choose light over darkness.

_Focus, love,_ Kagemusha whispered gently. Nanao went after the bird hollow with her blade, firing a blue ball of kido fire at the other. It was not hard to outmaneuver the mindless creatures. It struck out with its talons and wings. Nanao dodged and, while it was shifting to keep its balance on one leg, sank her blade into its mask.

With the three hollows dispatched, Nanao had a moment to breathe. _Where did they come from? There was no sign of hollows during either scout. _She thought of the feeling she had gotten earlier in the night of being watched. But she should have sensed it if it were a hollow.

The thought called up another one: even if they could not sense these hollows, why had her captain not come when he sensed Nanao fighting? The light in their room was off, as were all other lights in the inn. A bolt of panic shot through Nanao.

She ran up the path as quietly as she could without losing speed. She was halfway up when she heard something coming toward her. Quickly she moved to the side, into the shadows, and waited. When the noise drew close enough, she sprang.

And smashed into her captain. "Captain Kyoraku!" Nanao cried in surprise and relief. She noticed he was missing his hat and his gaudy pink haori. His white captain's robe was torn and bloodied in a line across his back, his swords hung at his sides, smeared with black. He had been caught off guard as well.

He touched her shoulder and drew away his hand covered in blood. Nanao had not realized until that moment that she was actually injured. "What happened?" her captain asked, grey eyes equal parts worry and anger.

Nanao filled him in as quickly as possible. He shook his head when she was finished. "The same thing happened to me. A demi-hollow man drew my attention while I was attacked from behind."

"Why didn't we sense them? Or each other?" The latter part worried her more. It was normal not to sense demi-hollows right away, and even some hollows could conceal their presence. Never had there been a time when Nanao could not feel her captain without also experiencing a great sense of loss. Standing with him now, she could feel his reiatsu, but not at the level she should have.

Shunsui looked around them. "I don't know. Something is really wrong here. I thought I felt something in the woods earlier, but I thought I may have imagined it. I should have checked more closely."

The screech of a hollow rang out over the lake. The sound reverberated off the water and the trees, making its source impossible to locate. Shunsui and Nanao exchanged a look. They both realized at the same moment what had happened.

"Should we call for reinforcements?" Nanao was truly worried now. If they were unable to locate where the hollows were, or how many there were, they would be fighting blind. It could go very wrong very quicklly even for someone like Shunsui.

Shunsui considered briefly. Before he had time to make his decision, all hell broke loose.

Several hollows bounded out from the trees. They were low level, and even in a group did not pose much of a threat. But they were soon followed by two gillian, then an adjucha.

"Gods be damned," Nanao heard Shunsui mutter under his breath. She could share the sentiment.

The adjucha was the spider version of a centaur, with a vaguely human torso jutting from a spider's abdomen. Its mask was crescent shaped with three eyes on each side. It glared hungrily at the captain and lieutenant while the gillian and the other hollows advanced.

"Captain!" Nanao's shout was all despair. Two more Gillian lumbered toward them from the other side of the inn. They were surrounded.

"My, my, you have your own little army here, don't you?" Shunsui said it vaguely toward the adjucha.

It responded, "Yes, I was hoping to draw in a captain, and here I have the pleasure of getting both a captain and a lieutenant. I hope the girl tastes as delicious as she looks." It's black tongue swept over its mouth. Nanao gagged. Shunsui stepped almost imperceptibly closer, moving himself between Nanao and the adjucha. It laughed mockingly. "Ah, I see. I'll be sure to eat the girl first and give you the honor of watching." It twitched a leg forward.

Just like that they were rushed by the hollows and the four gillian. Shunsui and Nanao fought back to back, staying as close to one another as they could so there were no vulnerable spots in their defense. It did not take long before there was a ring of fallen hollows around them. Two of the gillian fired cero, forcing Nanao and Shunsui apart. Forcing Nanao closer to the adjucha.

It grinned at her, revealing a row of jagged teeth. Behind her, Nanao heard Shunsui shout her name, followed by the scream of a dying gillian. The adjucha flexed its arms, which ended in three-clawed hands. "Die, little shinigami." It pounced.

When it was in mid-leap, a dark, shadowy shape stabbed through its middle, pinning it to the ground. "What…?"

Nanao smiled. "Kagemusha's main power is the ability to control and manipulate shadows." The shadow sword split and ripped outward through the adjucha's body.

It hissed, "I was going to eat you right away, but now you will—" It was cut off by a slam of kido to its head. It shook the blast off and screached, "Have it your way, shinigami."

The next thing Nanao knew, the adjucha's body was engulfed in flames. It skittered toward her, more quickly than she was prepared for, and sliced with its flaming claws. She barely had time to raise Kagemusha. The sudden brightness of the flames in the night disoriented Nanao. She did not see the leg that struck her in the abdomen and pinned her to the ground. Her uniform caught fire before she could send a shadow hammer into the creature's gut, vaulting it into the air.

It landed and quickly came after her again. A snare from Kagemusha successfully ripped off one of the legs, but it kept coming.

_I will not die here,_ Nanao thought resolutely. _Especially not knowing my captain may need my help._ Shunsui had taken down one of the gillian as far as she knew, but three would be too much even for a captain to handle. _I have to get to him._

She was distracted by her thoughts. That was how the adjucha caught her in its clawed grip, pinning her to a nearby tree. She tried not to scream as she felt the burn of fire on her skin wherever it touched her.

"Now, little shinigami," it panted, "you die." It was impossible to struggle away from its tight grip. Before she could call on Kagemusha or her kido, the adjucha reared back its head like a snake about to strike.

She could not hold back the scream as those jagged teeth sunk into her left arm and side, the pressure of powerful jaws breaking ribs. She gasped painfully, unable to take in any air, and felt her heart shudder under the pressure.

There was a slicing noise. The force of the blow made the adjucha lurch to the side. Unfortunately it took Nanao and part of the tree with it. She tumbled out of its grasp, hitting the ground hard. It was surprising she could feel the pain in her head over the pain in her chest. Her vision became blurry so that she could only just make out the form of her captain attacking the burning adjucha. The flames had become white hot with blue at the edges as its anger escalated. Nanao tried to stand but slipped in her own blood. In the distance she heard the scream of a gillian.

She wasted enough healing kido on her head to clear her vision. She made it to her feet using Kagemusha as a cane. She took tentative steps forward, not comprehending the shouts of her captain. Or maybe the shouting was just a figment of her muddled mind.

The last gillian, with a chunk missing from its shoulder, advanced from behind her captain, who was still busy with the adjucha. Using the last of her strength, Nanao forced a shadow spike through its mask.

And just like that it was over. The light from the burning spider adjucha dimmed to a glow. Its body was nothing more than burning cinders now. Shunsui did not waste a moment. He rushed toward where Nanao had crumpled to her knees. He lowered himself down in front of her and held her sagging body up by her shoulders.

"You're hurt," she muttered through a fog. It was a stupid thing to say and under any other circumstance she would have felt stupid, but her pounding head percieved that he was covered in blood and made the comment without her permission.

"You should talk," he murmured back. She could hear an unfamiliar emotion in his voice: fear. She had seen him nervous, worried, unnerved, but never afraid. "I'm so sorry. I should have gotten here sooner. I thought..." He thought he was going to find her dead.

"I understand. Four gillian can keep a guy busy." Talking made her lungs hurt. Her entire left side was crushed, so everything she said was a painful whisper. "I don't think…" She could not get the words out. She was just so tired.

Shunsui knew what she was thinking. "Never, ever think that. You are going to be fine. I already called for backup and the fourth. They should be here soon."

_Soon might not be enough. _Nanao dropped her hold on Kagemusha and leaned forward until her forehead was resting on Shunsui's bloodied chest. He hesitated a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around her carefully and burying his face in her hair. No matter how careful he was being, it was still agony to Nanao, but she could not care less at the moment. She needed to feel him breathing, needed to hear his heartbeat. It was the only thing tethering her to consiousness.

"Does this mean you want to give me a second chance, Nanao-chan?" he half-joked.

Nanao smiled. "I'll say yes because I don't think I will live to see it through."

There was a popping noise. For one brief moment Nanao was sure it was the sound of a senkaimon opening. Then she saw the glowing-ember claws of the adjucha as it struck her and her captain and sent them flying through the air.

They hit the ground. Blood spattered everywhere. Nanao was positive that this time she would not be getting up again. The adjucha did not follow up on its attack; it had been the last movement of a dying creature.

Nanao's vision was darkening as she was losing consciousness. She had been knocked away from her captain. If she reached out her hand, she would just be able to touch him, but she could not move, could not think where to begin trying. She could only look at his fading image, overjoyed that his chest moved with each breath he still drew in, dismayed by the amount of blood covering his face, matting his hair, staining the ground.

In that last moment of thought before she faded away, Nanao thought how appropriate it was that she was spending the last moments of her life by the side of the man she loved.

**AN: Whew! I would say my first real fight scene was a sucess. As far as I know, Kagemusha is supposed to mean "shadow warrior." I thought it fit Nanao well. On another note, I did not start watching Bleach until the Soul Society arc, so I missed all the explainations of hollows. What I know is from Bleach Wiki; if it is wrong, I blame my source. **


	5. What He Saw

Chapter 5: What He Saw

They were fighting back to back, and then suddenly she was gone. Nanao was facing an adjucha, something of captain level that he should be dealing with, not her. He killed the first gillian easily; he was almost blind with rage and panic. _What if I don't get to her in time?_ One of the gillian fired a cero. As he jumped back to dodge this attack, a second blast was fired from another of the giant hollows. Shunsui had not been expecting it but was able to move so it became a glancing blow.

With Katen Kyokotsu, he made quick work of one of the gillian, then another. As he was dealing with the third, a shriek broke through his concentration. _Nanao._ He ran in the general direction he had last seen her, dimly aware of the wounded gillian tromping slowly behind him. He saw flames before him at a distance. As he was trying to figure out what had caused the fire, he heard a heart-shattering scream.

In the distance he saw the adjucha, its body covered in flames, pinning Nanao to a tree. Its teeth were sunk deeply into her left side and arm; her blood covered its mouth and dripped onto the ground.

Shunsui's world turned red. He slashed through the arm pinning Nanao. The adjucha shrieked and stumbled sideways under the force of the blow. Nanao went skidding across the ground, pain written all over her body. Shunsui could not go to her no matter how much he wanted to. The adjucha was back on its feet, the flames surrounding it burning hotter, turning white and blue. It was missing a leg and the clawed arm he had just cut away, but it moved surprisingly quickly. For a few moments the captain and the flaming hollow were engaged in a strange dance, neither able to get closer to the other.

The hollows eyes slid to look over Shunsui's shoulder. Shunsui heard a gillian scream and remembered the one following him. His attention was drawn, however, by movement in his peripheral vision. Nanao, was standing (barely), shakily supporting herself on her released zanpakuto, which looked particularly deadly in the firelight and shadows. Her face was set in determination, and Shunsui would have been proud had he not noticed the amount of blood she was losing. He shouted at her to stand down, given as an order, a literal first concerning Nanao. Normally she was the one ordering him around.

He barely saw Nanao move. Then he heard the gillian behind him falling, dying. He glanced back long enough to see it impaled on a shadow before turning back to the adjucha. Shunsui was desperate enough to get to Nanao as quickly as possible that he allowed the creature's claws to shear a jagged tear in his chest, giving him the necessary opening to attack.

As the thing dimmed to cinders, Shunsui ran to Nanao, pressing a button on his soul phone to signal for immediate aid.

Nanao was on her knees, slumped over and breathing heavily, looking dazed. She had lost far too much blood and was probably in agony, but when Shunsui knelt before her, the words out of her mouth were, "You're hurt."

A bitter laugh bubbled into his chest but was quashed when he realized she was truly concerned. His beautiful, brave Nanao was concerned about him while the only thing keeping her broken body upright was his hands on her shoulders. "You should talk," he replied, hearing the emotion in his own voice and positive she had heard it as well. _Good,_ he thought. _Maybe now she won't insist on going out and nearly getting herself killed._ Then he snorted inwardly. _But then she wouldn't be my Nanao-chan. _"I'm so sorry." It was an apology for many things, but he only specified one at the moment. "I should have gotten here sooner."

"I understand. Four gillian can keep a guy busy." It was a weak joke, literally. _She's having trouble breathing,_ was Shunsui's panicked thought. He knew healing kido, of course, but not enough for something as serious as this. He could make a mistake, and he would not risk that on Nanao. Her voice was fading when she said, "I don't think…"

_No! _Everything inside him rebelled against the thought of life without Nanao. His life had been long and mostly satisfying from many perspectives. What he could never explain to anyone, though, was the sense of nothingness he always felt despite his "accomplishments". He had been satisfied to carry out his life that way, because it was not unbearable. Then there was Nanao. He wished he could convey to her what she meant to him, even now, even without an actual relationship with her. If he lost her, he could never go back to the way his life had been before. _The greatest pain is to have been happy, _some famous human had once said. He had seen love and would never be whole without it, even the bits of it he could hold onto now.

"Never think that," he said because he could not say what he was truly thinking. "You are going to be fine. I already called for backup and the fourth. They should be here soon."

Nanao dropped her zanpakuto. Shunsui thought she may have passed out. Then she did something wholly unexpected. Suddenly he found himself with Nanao leaning against his chest. His breath hitched in his chest. As he wrapped his arms around her, trying so hard not to hurt her but knowing he could not entirely succeed, Shunsui could only wish it had not taken a battle to bring her to him.

"Does this mean you want to give me a second chance, Nanao-chan?" It was part joke, part serious question, part attempt to keep her awake.

"Only you." There was a smile in her voice.

A crack was the only warning before a glowing ember set of claws slashed out. _Dammit. _He had been so concerned with getting to Nanao that he had failed to protect her by making sure the hollow was dead. He hit the ground and heard the thud of Nanao landing nearby.

His face hurt and burned, his vision wavered, his eyes snapped shut on their own accord. He no longer felt the heaviness of his own body or his wounds, just that horrible _burning_. If ever in his long years had a wound made him want to cry out in agony, this was it. But he wouldn't, for Nanao.

_Where is Nanao?_ He could not force his eyes open to look for her or his mouth to form her name. He was sinking slowly into darkness. _What good is being a captain if you cannot protect the one you love? _The adjucha was still alive; reinforcements were not here yet. He was going to be unconscious very soon, leaving Nanao alone. _I'll be sure to eat the girl first…_ Nanao would accept that if it meant it would buy more time for him to be saved. She was his lieutenant; it was expected for her to give her life to protect her captain. What no one realized was that, after Nanao had taken her vow to serve her captain, Shunsui had made his own vow to her. Each had vowed to protect the other no matter the cost, and they always had. But this time it would not be enough. All that would be left was fire and pain and darkness and one terrible word: alone.

Shunsui had barely been able to feel Nanao's reiatsu unless he concentrated. He searched it out now and held onto it for dear life. The last thing he felt before losing consciousness was Nanao's reiatsu as it flickered and faded.

**AN: I wasn't going to do this chapter because it adds no new information and is superfluous to the story, but I really, _really _wanted to do it, so there it is. Thank you for your wonderful comments. Feedback is emensely appreciated (especially when it's positive).**


	6. A Sight to Behold

Chapter 6: A Sight to Behold

Shunsui awoke gasping for air. He sat straight up only to fall back again, clutching his pounding head. He was in a bed, somewhere in the fourth division judging by the smell of disinfectant. It was dark enough that he could not make out anything. He would really have to get a better drinking partner, someone who would stop him from drinking before he had consumed enough to pass out and wake up feeling like this. Maybe Nanao—

At the very thought of her name, the memories came flooding back. Memories of the lake, the ambush of hollows, the adjucha, fire, Nanao dying, dying, _dying_. He reached out frantically with his reiatsu searching out hers. Again he sat up, ignoring the nauseating pounding in his head. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. This action made the wounds in his chest throb. He reached for the lamp on the bedside table, flicked it on, and…nothing happened. It remained dark.

Shunsui reached up to touch his eyes and make sure they had actually opened (it was hard to tell with that incessant pounding right behind them) and felt a bandage. _Dammit, that's inconvenient._ He remembered vaguely the attack just before he had passed out. _But what happened afterward? Where the hell is Nanao?_ His anxiety grew with each passing second. He was about to rip the bandages from his eyes so he could go search on foot when the door slid open. "Nanao?" he called and was surprised by how scratchy his voice was.

"It's me." "Me" being Jyuushiro. Shunsui heard him come into the room and slide the door shut behind him. "Will you please calm down, Shun? You knocked three people out a minute ago. You're hurt, but Retsu will not hesitate to clobber you if you disturb her patients further."

Shunsui took a breath and reigned in his reiatsu. "Where's Nanao?" He tried to stay calm this time, but it became harder as long moments passed with nothing but silence for an answer. _Oh, gods._ "Jyuushiro," he said, his voice sounding all the more deadly for its calm tone, "where is Nanao?"

"Calm down." Shunsui again checked himself, though it was even more difficult now than before. Jyuushiro sighed and sat down in the chair at his friend's bedside. "Lay back down and I'll fill you in."

Shunsui did not move. "Where. Is. Nanao." His teeth were gritted.

"She's alive, Shunsui." Shunsui's body sagged and he took a shaky breath to steady himself. "When the rescue squad got there, she was barely hanging on. You were looking pretty rough yourself. They had a team search the area and do cleanup. They found a few more stray hollows, but no minos."

Shunsui shook his head. "Make sure they go back and sweep the area again with a large team. Something about that lake disperses energy like an echo. You can't sense anything, friend or foe, until it is on top of you."

Jyuushiro confirmed that he would let someone know and continued, "Nanao is in critical condition, but she should pull through. Any later, though…"

Shunsui was glad his friend was honest with him even about this, but the words were like a knife through him. He brought a hand to his face to cover his eyes before remembering they were already covered. "She could have died," he whispered. "She could have died and it would have been entirely my fault."

"Shun, there was no way you could have known when you took that mission that it was going to turn out this way."

"But there were so many things I could have done differently. I shouldn't have let her be out there in the first place."

"There is no point on dwelling on that. Besides, I can promise you that Nanao won't hold a grudge." There was a short pause before he asked, "This may not be the time, but how did she take your 'serious declaration of your love' anyway?"

"Shot me down."

"Ouch."

Shunsui eased himself into a more comfortable position. "She gave valid reasons, of course. Exactly what you would expect: she doesn't feel she can trust me, and honestly, after today…yesterday, whenever, I can't say I blame her."

Jyuushiro opened his mouth to say something when Retsu Unohana swept into the room. "You cannot be awake for even a moment without causing trouble and knocking girls off their feet, can you?" She did not sound angry, but then again, she never really did.

"Sorry, I just…"

"It's alright. I think I understand. How are you feeling?" He categorized his major pains. He would have thrown in a few whines for good measure under normal circumstances but could not think of it at the moment. "When can I see Nanao?"

"The bandages on your eyes won't come off for at least a week, probably more."

"That isn't…"

"I know, Shunsui, I was teasing." The healer captain gently probed and pressed and changed bandages. Shunsui felt like a fidgety child by the time she was finished. "As for visiting Miss Ise, you can go to her now if you like."

Shunsui was up so fast it made him dizzy.

Jyuushiro talked as he led his friend by the arm down the hallways, Unohana having departed to see to her other patients. "I have already visited her. I decided you would be happier knowing I stayed with her than sitting by you."

"Thank you." He truly meant it.

Their progress was slow. Shunsui constantly felt as though he were stepping into a void. "You wouldn't by chance have a grudge against me at the moment?"

Confused, Jyuushiro answered, "No…"

"Good. I would hate to think you were leading me to the top of a flight of stairs by way of revenge."

Jyuushiro scoffed. "I'm hurt you would think I would do something so low." Then he stage whispered to his right, "He's on to us! Abort the plan!" They both chuckled.

Finally they made it to Nanao's room. Jyuushiro pulled up two chairs and guided Shunsui into one. Shunsui let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. He groped over the bed sheets until he found Nanao's hand. It felt so small and fragile in his.

"How does she look?" He hated to ask but needed to know.

Jyuushiro hesitated, knowing his friend wanted him to be honest and would know if he lied but hated telling him all the same. "She looks like something tried to eat her." Jyuushiro was glad at the moment that Shunsui couldn't see his lieutenant. There were cuts on her face where her glasses had shattered under the final blow of the adjucha, as well as dark bruises and a considerable bump on the head. Her right shoulder had a small gouge, as did many other areas of her body, but it was her left side that was distressing. Almost every rib had been broken, and one had nicked her lung. Substantial pressure had been put on her heart to nearly stop it. Her left arm was nearly bitten off; Retsu was still unsure whether Nanao would have use of it when she awoke. The teeth marks themselves were deep punctures that could easily become infected. Then there were the burns. All in all she was lucky to be alive.

He noticed when Shunsui's shoulders sagged down again. "She's going to be okay, Shun. She has to wake up and give you a stern lecture on not leaving your bed until you are healed enough to be walking."

Shunsui acted as though he hadn't heard. "Do you think I can get a cot brought in here?"

Jyuushiro smiled sympathetically. "After all the times you have sat by my bedside, I think I owe you enough to go find out."

* * *

><p>For Nanao, coming to consciousness felt like pushing her way through tar. The closer she got to being awake, the closer she got to the pain. What brought her fully awake was the sound of her own moaning.<p>

She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly. Strangely, the first thing she noticed was that her glasses were missing. She looked on the bedside table to the left and saw them, but when she tried to move to get them, she gasped in pain. Quickly giving up that venture, she got a better look at the room she was in. _I'm at the fourth. They got to us in time._

She rolled her head back to the nightstand, trying to think of a way to get her glasses without calling anyone, when she noticed for the first time the bed beside her own. Lying there snoring gently was her captain.

_He's okay,_ she thought happily. _Ow. Even smiling hurts._ Instinctively she reached up to brush away a strand of hair that fell into her face. The pain was so intense that she could not help the whimper that escaped her lips.

The sound was loud enough to rouse her sleeping captain. "Nanao?" he whispered, unsure whether she was actually awake.

The pain in her side had yet to abet. She could only lay there and bite back a cry. Fighting it hurt, but letting it out might just kill her. Shunsui either heard or else felt the change in her reiatsu. He stood up and came to her. In his haste he forgot to be careful and banged his leg on the bedside table.

Kneeling at her bedside, he put his hand over her leg (somewhere she was not wounded). "Shh, Nanao, sweetheart. It's alright." For the first time in days he actually believed it.

Nanao caught her breath and opened her eyes a fraction, only to gasp again at what she saw. Her captain's eyes were bound with a clean white bandage. Nanao knew it must have been from the hollow's last attack. But how bad was it? "Sir," she said, "are you alright?"

Shunsui laughed. "Stop asking me how I'm doing when you are the one hurt; you make me look bad." His tone suddenly grew serious. "Do you need me to call Lady Unohana?"

Nanao shook her head before remembering he could not see the gesture. "No. How bad is it?"

"Now that you are awake, everything is looking much better. Figuratively, of course." He pointed to his eye bandages with a grin.

"Sir, that isn't what I meant." She had meant his eyes.

He sighed. "The bandages will come off in another day or so." It was supposed to happen tomorrow, but Retsu had said his eyes were still vulnerable, so on it stayed. "I hardly know how I will stand not looking at my lovely Nanao-chan for another entire week," he cooed dramatically.

Nanao ignored the theatrics. "Another? I was out that long?"

"Yes. Proof that you secretly love sleep as much as I do." His tone grew serious again and his voice dropped. "I was really worried about you, Nanao."

She could not see the tenderness that would surely have been in his eyes, but she recognized the tilt of his head, the almost imperceptible way his body leaned closer to hers as if unconsciously drawn there. Ignoring the pain it caused, Nanao reached her left hand down far enough to brush his fingers. That alone cost her almost every ounce of energy she had.

Shunsui jumped at the touch. "Was that your left hand?" When she answered the affirmative, a huge smile broke out on his face. "Wonderful! I need to call Retsu now."

He did. The healer captain was also pleasantly surprised and impressed with even that small mobility. "This is very encouraging."

When she had gone, Shunsui took up the chair on Nanao's right. He was still leaning closer, his hand resting near hers but not touching. Waiting for her permission or rejection. She reached out, trying to move as little of her body as she could, and brushed her fingers lightly over the back of his hand. He was startled again (though Nanao was not sure if it was from not seeing it coming literally or figuratively). He held her hand in hers for a moment. Nanao liked the way his slightly-rough but surpassingly gentle touch felt. She interlaced their fingers and was surprisingly unsurprised to find they fit together perfectly.

**AN: Sorry, sorry, sorry it is so late. I am leaving for college day after tomorrow and am freaking out. Suddenly I look up at the calendar and realize a week has gone by without my noticing. Eeek. By the way, thank you all for the comments. This is what I can reply from what I remember off the top of my head: Yes, I know under normal circumstances Shunsui could take out the menos in a second, but he was worried about Nanao (someone can fail a test because he is worried the girl he likes hates him; why not botch a fight because you are worried the woman you love could be dying?). Yes, yes, I hate it when Nanao looks weak too, but I have a reason for it that may be remedied later. Patience. Hope I got most of 'em. Now, if you will excuse me, I feel as though I haven't slept in a week and am starting to twitch.**


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